Notes? / Prima Donna

Mystery after gala night It says, "Mystery of soprano's flight" "Mystified," all the papers say "We are mystified, we suspect foul play" Bad news on soprano scene First Carlotta, now Christine Still, at least the seats get sold Gossip's worth its weight in gold What a way to run a business Spare me these unending trials Half your cast disappears But the crowd still cheers Opera! To hell with Gluck and Handel Have a scandal and you're sure to have a hint Damnable Will they all walk out? This is damnable André, please don't shout It's publicity And the take is vast Free publicity But we have no cast André, have you seen the queue? Oh, it seems you've got one too Dear André, what a charming gala Christine was in the world's sublime We were hardly bereft when Carlotta left On that note the diva is a disaster Must you cast her when she's seasons past her prime Dear Firmin, just a brief reminder My salary has not been paid Send it care of the ghost By return of post, PTO No one likes a debtor So it's better if my orders are obeyed Who would have the gall to send this? Someone with a puerile brain These are both signed "O. G." Who the hell is he? Opera Ghost! It's nothing short of shocking He's mucking our position In addition he wants money What a funny aberration to expect a large retainer Nothing plainer, he is clearly quite insane Where is she? (You mean Carlotta?) I mean Miss Daaé, where is she? Well, how should we know? (I want an answer) I take it that you sent me this note What's all this nonsense? Of course not (don't look at us) She's not with you, then? Of course not (we're in the dark) Monsieur, don't argue, isn't this the letter you wrote? And what is it that we're meant to have wrote? Written Do not fear for Miss Daaé The Angel of Music has her under his wing Make no attempt to see her again If you didn't write it, then who did? Where is he? (Oh, welcome back) Your precious patron Where is he? (What is it now?) I have your letter A letter which I rather resent And did you send it? Of course not (as if he would) You didn't send it? Of course not (what's going on?) You dare to tell me, that this is nos the letter you sent? And what is it that I'm meant to have sent? Your days at the Opera Populaire are numbered Christine Daaé will be singing on your behalf tonight Be prepared for a great misfortune Should you attempt to take her place Far too many notes for my taste And most of them about Christine All we've heard since we came is Miss Daaé's name Miss Daaé has returned I hope no words for as far as we're concerned Where precisely is she now? I thought it best that she was alone She needed rest May I see her? No, monsieur, she will see no one Will she sing? Will she sing? Here, I have a note Let me see it Please Gentlemen, I have now sent you several notes Of the most amiable nature Detailing how my theatre is to be run You have not followed my instructions I shall give you one last chance Christine Daaé has returned to you And I am anxious her career should progress In the new production of "Il Muto" You will therefore cast Carlotta as the Pageboy And put Miss Daaé in the role of Countess The role which Miss Daaé plays calls for charm and appeal The role of the Pageboy is silent which makes my casting, in a word, ideal I shall watch the performance from my normal set in Box Five Which will be kept empty for me Should these commands be ignored A disaster beyond your imagination will occur I remain, Gentlemen, your obedient servant, O. G. Christine! (Whatever next?) It's all about a ploy to help Christine (This is insane) I know who sent this The Vicomte, her lover (Indeed?) (Can you believe this?) Signora! (O traditori) This is a joke, this changes nothing (o mentitori) Signora! You are our star and always will be Signora! The man is mad! We don't take orders Miss Daaé will be playing the Pageboy The silent role Carlotta will be playing the lead It's useless trying to appease me You're only saying this to please me Signor, è vero? Non, non, non voglio udire Lasciatemi morire O padre mio, Dio Who scorn his word, beware to those (you have reviled me!) The angel sees, the angel knows You have rebuked me (signora, pardon us?) You have replaced me (please, signora, we beseech you) This hour shall see your darkest fears The angel knows, the angel hears Signora, sing for us, don't be a martyr What new surprises lie in store? Would you please give this to Miss Daaé? Miss Daaé! Your public needs you We need you too Wouldn't you rather have your precious little ingénue? Signora, no! The world wants you Prima Donna, first lady of the stage Your devotees are on their knees to implore you Can you bow out when they're shouting your name? Think of how they all adore you Prima Donna, enchant us once again Think of your must and of the queues 'round the theatre! Can you deny us the triumph in store? Sing, Prima Donna, once more (Christine spoke of an angel) Prima Donna, your song shall live again (Think of your public) you took a snub But there's a public who needs you Those who hear your voice liken you to an angel Think of the cry of undying support (we get our opera) Follow where the limelight leads you (she gets her limelight) Leading ladies are a trial Prima Donna, your song shall never die You'll sing again (orders, warning) (Lunatic demands are regular occurrences) Think how you'll shine in that final encore (surely there'll be further scenes) Sing, Prima Donna, once more (worse than this) (I must see these demands are rejected!) Who'd believe a diva happy to relieve A chorus girl whose gone and slept with the patron? Raoul and the soubrette entwined in love's duet Although he may demur he must have been with her You'd never get away with all this in a play But if it's loudly sung and in a foreign tongue It's just the sort of story, audiences adore In fact, a perfect opera (for if his curse is on this opera) Prima Donna, the world is at your feet A nation waits, and how it hates to be cheated! Light up the stage with that age-old rapport Sing, Prima Donna Once more!