If I Only Had a Brain

Suppose I accidentally got my shit together Would I get a medal Or a pat on the back and a little feather I could stick in my cap or pin it to my shirt Go out in the yard and poke it in the dirt Or leave it in the woods where it couldn't be found If it fell over, would it make a sound And if it did, would it be the sound that you like Or should I do it over until I get it right You say everything I know is wrong So do me a favor, and play along for a minute As the rusty gears turn Don't be alarmed if you smell something burning upstairs It's a little BB rolling around in a box car See us together Maybe it wouldn't be hard to explain If I only had a brain Somewhere on a higher mental plane (Somewhere on a higher mental plane) I might learn to come in from the rain (I might learn to come in from the rain) If I had a clue would I still be here with you (If I had a clue would I still be here with you) Gee whiz, if I only had a brain (Gee whiz, if I only had a brain) Who's that Oh, my little friend Cupid Wearing a shirt that says I'm with stupid Always nearby wherever I go He's looking out for me, don't you know Mr. Excitement, never in a rut Johnny on the spot with an arrow in the butt Ouch! I guess your love is true Now, if I could only get a clue Somewhere on a higher mental plane (Somewhere on a higher mental plane) I might learn to come in from the rain (I might learn to come in from the rain) If I had a clue would I still be here with you (If I had a clue would I still be here with you) Gee whiz, if I only had a brain (Gee whiz, if I only had a brain) Had a brain Had a brain Had a brain Had a brain