The Reaper Rap

Bill: I'm Bill S. Preston, Esq.! And this is Ted "Theodore" Logan! B&T: And we are Wyld Stallyns! DeNomolos: I am DeNomolos. Now . . . what is your mission? Evil Bill: First we totally kill Bill and Ted! Evil Ted: Yeah, then we take over their lives. Evil Bill: He's totally a robot! Evil Ted: So are you, dude! Evil Bill: Whoa, we're total metalheads! DeNomolos: Destroy that ridiculous, insipid band! Evil B&T: Death to Bill and Ted! Reaper: Get down with your bad self! DeNomolos: You fools! Are we ready? Reaper: Get down with your bad self! DeNomolos: You fools! Evil B&T: Yeah, totally! Reaper: Get down with your bad self! DeNomolos: You fools! Are we ready? Evil Ted: I've got a full on robot chubby. Evil B&T: How's it goin', Bill and Ted? Bill: Ted . . . it's us again! Ted: Whoa! Bill: You're metal, dude! Evil Bill: I know! Check it out! We're totally gonna kill you now! B&T: Whoa . . . Evil Bill: Ha ha ha! Ted: Dudes, even though you're doing this, we . . . we . . . Bill: We love you! Evil Bill and Ted: Fags! Bill: You dick, Bill! Evil Bill: I know! Let's waste em. Bill and Ted: Aaaahhhhh! Reaper: Get down with your bad self! Rufus: Bogus Evil Bill: Stellar, Evil Ted! B&T: No way! Reaper: Get down with your bad self! Rufus: Bogus Bill: Yeah! Reaper: Get down with your bad self! Rufus: Bogus Evil Bill: Stellar, Evil Ted! B&T: No way! Evil Bill: I totally loogied on that good, dead me! Ted: Bill, what happened? Bill: Ted, we're dead, dude! B&T: Whoa! Ted: Who are you? Bill: Ted, it's the Grim Reaper, dude! Ted: Oh. How's it hangin', Death? We've got to get back to the babes! Bill: Ted, we can't . . . we're dead, dude! Ted: We've got to stop those evil us's! We've gotta try! Bill: But how? B&T: Melvin! Reaper: They melvined me! Ted: Dude, I totally broke a rock!* Bill: Excellent!* Ted: I kinda like this* . . . Who's that? Bill: Ted, who do you think it is? Ted: How's it goin', Beelzebub? Excellent rocks!* Bill: We totally broke some.* Ted: Okay, can we go now? B&T: Whoa! Bill: Thanks dude! You know, you've got a bad rap. Colonel Oates: Gentlemen! Welcome to Hell! Ted: Dude. Bill: What? Ted: I think we're in our own personal hell! Easter bunny: You stole Deacon's Easter basket! Little Ted: No way! Granny S. Preston, Esq: How about a kiss? Little Bill: Bogus! Bill: You ugly red source of all evil! Granny S. Preston, Esq: All I want is one! Right on the lips! Colonel Oates: Get back here! B&T: AHHHHHH! WHOAAAAA! Bill: That was non-non-non-non heinous! Evil Bill: You suck, dude!* Bill: Do something else, dude!* Ted: Yeah!* Bill: Not bad, dude! B&T: Excellent! Reaper: Get down with your bad self! Bill inside Sergeant: Whoa, donuts! Ted inside Captain Logan: I totally possessed my dad! Reaper: Get down with your bad self! Ted inside Captain Logan: Excellent! Bill inside Sergeant: I totally believe you, dude! Reaper: Get down with your bad self! Bill inside Sergeant: Whoa, donuts! Ted inside Captain Logan: I totally possessed my dad! Bill: You totally killed us, you evil metal dickweed! Evil Bill: That's right, lesser developed human prototype us's!* Bill: Let's get em, Ted!* Ted: Ahhhhh, yeah, no!* Colonel Oates: Get em Granny!* B&T: We've got to face them.* Colonel Oates: Now get going!* Various moans and groans of fears being defeated.* Bill: Kiss your fears, dudes!* Ted: Or offer em a honeybun or something. And they'll get smaller and maybe they'll even go away!* Bill: Yeah, they're not that bad, dude. So don't get programmed by anybody but yourself!* B&T: Let's rock!* Rufus: And most important, do not do your homework without wearing headphones! Evil B&T: Catch you later, Bill & Ted! Colonel Oates crying.*