Don't Start a Band

Don't start a band

Unless you like spending time in a hot van

(Seven hours to get there

Fourteen dollars at door)

Don't start a band

You oughta invest in your future

(Your student loans won't pay themselves

You should pick up more hours)

And every day, I feel like a failure

Sit alone at home watching Sailor Moon

DVD sets

And everything just fills me with envy

Always feel like my world is ending

Every moment of every day

Don't start a band

Unless you like picking fights with your best friends

(I wish you'd start playing sober

Why don't you ever shut up?)

Don't start a band

You didn't go to college for nothing

(This run of records costs more than my car

These kids aren't buying our t-shirts)

And every night, I feel like a failure

Drink alone and curse like a sailor

I shouldn't drink so much

And I think that this tour just might kill me

Drinking every night doesn't thrill me

Like it did in college