Uncle Brian's Abattoir

My Uncle Brian's abattoir If you ever go insane Artificial weak or vain Dangle dewdrops from your hooter Fall in love with your computer You can put your life to rights If you ever develop warts Or have anti-social thoughts If your face is full of lines A mess with unexploded mines You can put your life to rights When your brain needs Polyfilla Get me that humane killer And we'll toddle off afar To my Uncle Brian's Abattoir Uncle Brian's Abattoir Uncle Brian's Abattoir If you ever lose the fuse Ask little Joe to sing the blues in his orthopaedic shoes If your body is weak and your mind is wrong If you've forgotten the words to your favourite song You can put your life to rights If you can't tell arse from elbow Can't tell a penguin from a cello You can put your life to rights When your brain needs Polyfilla Get me that humane killer And we'll toddle off near and far To my Uncle Brian's abattoir Get me that humane killer And we'll toddle off afar To my Uncle Brian's abattoir Uncle Brian's Abattoir Uncle Brian's Abattoir