Thirty-Too Old

You graduated college a decade ago

But judgin' by the way you act

Hell no one would know

You and all your loser friends

Are actin' like frat boys again

Wish I could say your age is startin' to show

But you’ve got a few years on me and even I know

You’re thirty-too old to be drinkin' liquor like water stayin' out til 3

Can’t lose in your fantasy league, spendin' every Sunday yellin' at the tv

You’re addicted to nicotine,

Tell the same sob story to the girls you meet

Guess you missed a turn on Growin' Up Road 'cause

You’re thirty-too damn old

Most guys your age are tuckin' their kids in bed

But you had another girl sleepin' in ours instead

At this point you’re too far gone

You should know by now that cheatin's wrong

And lyin's just as bad, didn’t your momma teach you that

You’re thirty-too old to be drinkin' liquor like water stayin' out til 3

Can’t lose in your fantasy league, spendin' every Sunday yellin' at the tv

You’re addicted to nicotine,

Tell the same sob story to the girls you meet

Guess you missed a turn on Growin' Up Road 'cause

You’re thirty-too damn old

La da da da da

Last time I checked

You weren’t born yesterday

They say some boys do

But I know you’ll never change

But wait I think I do see a couple hairs turning gray

You’re thirty-too old to be drinkin' liquor like water stayin' out til 3

Can’t lose in your fantasy league, spendin' every Sunday yellin' at the tv

You’re addicted to nicotine,

Tell the same sob story to the girls you meet

Guess you missed a turn on Growin' Up Road 'cause

You’re thirty-too damn old, yeah

You're thirty-too damn old

Just grow up already