I Never Thought

I never thought I'd wind up in a lousy little place like this There's a girl with green teeth and she's gettin' kinda hard to resist There's a shot for me sittin on the stage, And tonight I'm feelin my age I never thought I'd wind up in a lousy little place like this I never thought I'd play on a tiny little stage like this We got good songs and I can't figure why they ain't hits I could get to first base on my looks If I could stand on telephone books I never thought I'd play on a tiny little stage like this I always thought I'd hitch up with a real pretty gal like you But I wound up with a shrew and she's always tellin me what to do I'd like to ask you for a date But I can't afford to get home late I guess I'll never hitch up with a real pretty gal like you I never thought I'd wind up in a crappy little band like this Every time we take a bow the audience starts to hiss I'd quit the band if I had the nerve But I guess I'm gettin' what I deserve I never thought I'd wind up in a crappy little band like this