Well, I sent my pretty baby to the neighborhood store

My head was vibrating from the night before

I said: "You'd better hurry", as she went out the gate

My system needs a helper and I don't mean a steak

She had a cold six pack when she got back, but it was...Ahhohhh...hic-up...Root Beer

Well, now you can just imagine I was shocked to death

For nearly twenty minutes, couldn't get my breath

My mind began to wonder; Would I ever get well?

If I leave it to my baby, well, you can't never tell

'cause everything went numb when I saw what she'd brung it was...Ahhohhh...hic-up...Root Beer

Home Brew, Lightning, Bay alcohol, even good ol' Mountain Dew

Moonshine, Grapevine, any ol' kind would do

Well, now you could be my doctor, or my little nurse

But get me something quick before I die, or get worse

I only need a toddy; just a little drink

Yeah, that should be enough to put me back in the pink

But everything went black when I looked in the sack, it was...Ahhohhh...hic-up...Root Beer

Well, I began to thinking: "I'd be better off dead"

But then I just remembered 'bout my ol' Uncle Ned

He's got a little business squeezing juice out of corn

And I began to praise the day my Uncle was born

'cause you can't get any kicks when you're in this fix; out of...Ahhohhh...hic-up...Root Beer

Home Brew, Lightning, Bay alcohol, even good ol' Mountain Dew

Moonshine, Grapevine, any ol' kind would do

Well, now you could be my doctor, or my little nurse

But get me something quick before I die, or get worse

I only need a toddy; just a little drink

Yeah, that should be enough to put me back in the pink

But everything went black when I looked in the sack, it was...Ahhohhh...hic-up...Root Beer