It’s not yet two days later and I can’t tell if I’m suffering

A weight has been lifted

But a new weight is coming which could become blood in brain

In turn becoming blood in body

I am clinging to something as a train thunders by

The only question I had left has now been answered

But I must remember that this can harm nothing else

That much has been proven beyond doubt

Can anything be said out loud about this?

And it would be so loud

It would be so loud

I can’t do it here, but at moments I feel it

Has there been any change?

There is worth in too much

Do apologies enter into it?

How did doubts re-arise?

Or did they ever leave?

Perhaps I was pretending

It would be so loud

Am I ever awake to life?

I struggle to see through my eyelids

I need to find a way to be ashamed in front of you

To become numb to yearning

To feel guilt more than shame

Trumpets blare at the back of my mind and all that there is is in muddy half-confusion

What will become of us?

This is too much to bear and beyond this everything will dissolve

Dissolve