My Name Is Mud

My name is Mud

My name is Mud

Not to be confused with Billy, Jack, Pete or Dennis

My name is Mud, it's always been

'Cause I'm the most boring sonsabitch you've ever seen

I dress in blue, yes, navy blue

From head to toe, I'm rather drab except my patent shoes

I make 'em shine, well, most the time

'Cept today, my feet were trodden on by this friend of mine

Six-foot-two and rude as hell

I got to get him in the ground before he starts to smell

My name is Mud

My name is Mud, but call me Aloysius Devadander Abercrombie

That's long for Mud, so I've been told

Told that by this sonsabitch that lies before me

Bloated, blue and cold

I've got my pride, I drink my wine

I'd drink only the finest

'Cept I haven't earned a dime in several months, or were it years?

The breath on that fat bastard could bring any man to tears

We had our words, a common spat

So I kissed him upside the cranium with an aluminum baseball bat

My name is Mud

My name is Mud

M-M-M-M-M-Mud

My name is Mud

Where you goin', city boy?