I Don't Want to Join the Army (Medley)

I don't want to join the Army, I don't want to go to war I'd rather hang around Piccadilly Underground Living off the earnings of a high-born lady I don't want a bayonet up me arsehole I don't want me bollocks shot away I'd rather stay in England, in merry, merry England And fornicate me bleedin' life away (cor blimey) Hitler has only got one ball Göring has two, but very small Himmler has something similar But poor ol' Goebbels has no balls at all We are Fred Kano's army, we are the RSC We cannot fight, we cannot fuck What bleeding good are we And when we get to Berlin, ol' Hitler he will say "Ah hack mein gott, what a lovely fine lot, are thе boys of the RSC." Our Sergeant Major lеads a solitary life He can't afford a woman and he hasn't got a wife So he uses the end of the regimental fife As he revels in the joys of masturbation They say there's a boat on the river, the river They say that it's loaded with beer Oh why is that boat on the river, the river It clockin' well 'ought to be here Sing it, hey jig a jig, fuck a little bit, follow the band Follow the band with your cock in your hand Hey jig a jig, fuck a little bit, follow the band Fall in and follow the band I've been in the saddle for hours and hours I've stuck it as long as I could I've stuck it and stuck it and now I say "Fuck it!" "My arsehole is not made of wood." Sing it, hey jig a jig, fuck a little bit, follow the band Follow the band with your cock in your hand Hey jig a jig, fuck a little bit, follow the band Fall in and follow the band