You Always Want to Bomb the Middle East

He's tall He's lean He reeks of gasoline And he has perfect credit, if you know what I mean He is the air conditioning man And he is keeping you cool with his giant fan And I, on the other hand I hope this bagel will never end But he's your ruthless dictator! He's your enlightened plutocrat! He is dancing on the table in a shirt made of hats! You didn't start the bonfire of the vanities But you're tossing in our clothes and our humanities And once a year, we act like we were glad you were born You always want to bomb the Middle East on the weekend When we could be cutting grass or eating cheese with your girlfriend We could learn to read and write in Portuguese or Korean But you always want to bomb the Middle East You always want to bomb the Middle East on vacation When we could just write a novel or recline in frustration We could occupy the park across the street with a squirt gun But you always want to bomb the Middle East It's crude It's rude It's full of toxins dude It's the underground hero to a special few It ain't broke so don't fix it And never change No matter what Meanwhile I? I'm going to back to school! I've been eating mush all week and it's time for round food! But he's your ruthless dictator! He's your straw man strongman! He's taking you to the Cinderella's Castle of Shame at Disneyland! We didn't start the bonfire of the vanities But we're tossing in our clothes and our humanities And once a year, we act like we were glad you were born You always want to bomb the Middle East on the weekend When we could be cutting grass or eating cheese with your girlfriend We could learn to read and write in Portuguese or Korean But you always want to bomb the Middle East You always want to bomb the Middle East on vacation When we could just write a paean or recline in frustration You could occupy the park across the street with a Nerf gun But you always want to bomb the Middle East I didn't start the bonfire of the vanities But I'm tossing in my clothes and my humanity And once a year, I act like I was glad I was born You always want to bomb the Middle East on the weekend When we could be cutting grass or planting trees with your girlfriend We could learn to read and write in Cantonese or Italian But you always want to bomb the Middle East You always want to bomb the Middle East on vacation When we could just write a poem or recline in frustration You could occupy the park across the street with a squirt gun But you always want to bomb the Middle East You always want to bomb the Middle East