Letra
Went on a date with this guy who said he was a painter
And that art was the most important thing in his life
And I thought, wow, that's beautiful
Oh yeah, that's beautiful
So after dinner, we went back to his apartment
Cuz I'm a whoooooore
And when we walked in, there was one of his paintings
And it was just a bunch of random squiggles and in the middle
He had hot-glued a Phantom of the Opera mask
And I thought, wow, this might be
The worst painting I've ever seen
But instead I said, wow, that's so good
And when we went back to his room
He had a bowl full of condoms and lube
Like it was the damn gay community center
And then we did it, and it was actually pretty good
But not like, Phantom-of-the-Opera-mask good
And then I knew
I realized that if I dated this guy
I'd have to pretend that I liked his paintings
And I knew I couldn't do that
Oh no, I couldn't do that
Oh no
Written by: Brandi Suzanne Ediss
