Again

Yo, I just need some time, I'm tryna think straight I just need a moment in my own space Ask me how I'm doin', I say "okay," yeah But ain't that what we all say Sometimes I think back to the old days In the pointless conversations with the old me Yeah, back when my momma used to hold me I wish somebody woulda told me It's been a whole year and a couple months It takes 18 months... to get over love I'm nearly there but it feels like a fucking mission Mission impossible but time heals every mission I swear... and back then what the fuck is heartbreak That shit was funny now I'm sitting with a heartache This shit is real got me laying flat, pancake Flip me over with a pan, chingings in my back I'm shaking like an earthquake Really? they called her prestige Light skinned girl, from northwest she was pristine K K***'s daughter, I didn't know that when I met her But that's all I heard cos no one ever called her by her real name It's crazy, everybody wanted her it's scary For shitty thoughts and reasons and that's why they moving lazy But me I put my all in spoke the truth; I done it daily But what she put me through you woulda thought I was in the navy Look, see I been with her before I started rap I was kicking ball, running tracks now I'm writing tracks Gave her everything I could I guess I was a simp Mama raised me right but where I'm from I'm walking with a limp Everybody's different so I guess I trusted her Hundred in this ting and I didn't think that she would cut me first Damn... cut me worse and now I'm bleeding, all that damage now your leaving Fuck, I beg somebody call a nurse A boy best friend is suin she had... to me I didn't care I know it's crazy Thinking nothing of it She asked, can I see him course I said... go ahead Never thought a thing and now it's suin deep and I regret I was thinking, planning out our next date While she was doing things, nasty things with her best mate It's mad I only found out 7 months in Confronted her in person but she saying it was a mistake I just need some time, I'm tryna think straight I just need a moment in my own space Ask me how I'm doin', I say "okay," yeah But ain't that what we all say Sometimes I think back to the old days In the pointless conversations with the old me Yeah, back when my momma used to hold me I wish somebody woulda told me I only found out 7 months in It's crazy cos it happened when we was only a month in I was never insecure that's why I found out so late Cus' I never had her socials I just put in my faith She wanted mine, she gave me hers and I never logged in But when I did, I saw some things she was pulling my strings Talking to these guys and flirting she was taking the piss And her cousin called me ugly and she laughed at it I kept it calm then I bucked her Showed her everything in person, really had my head burst She was crying, squeezing begging me to stay Tell me why I should stay when you was happy with your best mate Funny thing is, she saying it was mistake Call that one a mistake why the fuck d'you still talk ay Tryna justify her actions but she can't say Fuck I had enough I said I'm done safe Blocked her on my socials I just couldn't cope What she did was dumb but the principal, that hurt me most Cus' I trusted her with all my heart And I let her do what ever that was from the start Cus' I had all hope, now I'm sitting in my room thinking it's my fault It's fucking up my head this love is so cold I'm writing lyrics, scary sight it's like 3 am Someone rings my bell, fucking hell she said it's me again She snuck out of her yard at these early hours Climbing over fences doing parkour to get to me She gave me 13 pages, handwritten notes Explaining everything and why and then we dropped her home I read it in my own time and it was making sense Telling me about her past and why she did what she did She didn't know we'd get this far, she had a broken heart I asked my bros, I asked my mum and they said give her chance I just need some time, I'm tryna think straight I just need a moment in my own space Ask me how I'm doin', I say "okay," yeah But ain't that what we all say Sometimes I think back to the old days In the pointless conversations with the old me Yeah, back when my momma used to hold me I wish somebody woulda told me Growing up I been a smart kid It's fucked don't get it twisted cos... love it had me blinded I decided to give her a chance I had a heart Cus' ppl make mistakes and all she needed was a restart But... she hit me right where I couldn't see it Now I'm cautious of this pain and thinking damn... did she mean it I gave her everything I could, anything she needed This song is raw but I was pure, I was fucking scenic They called me strong but now I'm toxic I'm a prick now I can't help it, overthinking got me stressing out I'm asking questions, where you at? I can't stop thinking Is she cheating? If I'm honest I don't know cos I can't trust this girl I gave her a chance but that don't change the past And if I'm honest I don't think it's right so really it's a funny world She killed me, now I'm treating her bad I'm being peaker with my texting, showing lack of effort Damn you got me feeling cold Used to give her everything I could, but now I can't I don't know how to, see my heart is like a broken glass She put the pieces back, things were getting better But it weren't the same, I'm still insane... here we go I'm thinking bad I wrote her a song, "Bonnie and Clyde" And she broke down and cried on her birthday Yeah, you know the vibes I tried to look past the past man you know I tried And she was going through the most her life was worse than mine Things were getting worse she had to live at mine Money getting tight, sometimes I couldn't eat at night It's been a couple months... times 2, she's my ride or die My bother overheard a convo with her friend, she fed us lies Planning a breakup, told me it's only a break. tryna break my heart again All these boys back on her snap again, tried to turn my mum against me Say I'm crazy and again, I gave her everything FUCK! she really broke my heart again I just need some time, I'm tryna think straight I just need a moment in my own space Ask me how I'm doin', I say "okay," yeah But ain't that what we all say Sometimes I think back to the old days In the pointless conversations with the old me Yeah, back when my momma used to hold me I wish somebody woulda told me