I wanna spend the afternoon
Kicking it back, straight up
Cruisin' with
Eggerson Keaveney
He picks me up at noon
Holding a pack of
Cold brewskis
He's brought for the evening
He tells me that the
Twenty-seven empties
In the bushes
Has nothing to do with him
And I'm certain that it's true
'Cause nobody's better
At hitting my level
Than Eggerson Keaveney
Eggerson's very stable mentally
And I know that 'cause he's got
Six tattoos which say that
Always wears
Little chic accessories
Such as this plastic anklet
He's not allowed to take off
He wears a new look daily
He served in the U.S Navy
He makes a mean
Steamed eggs and gravy
Now you understand me when I say
I wanna spend the afternoon
Kicking it back, straight up
Chillin' with
Eggerson Keaveney
Such a breezy dude
I feel so relaxed
When he does his semi-hourly screamin'
He's got a pet grub, it's
Called Robert
And he loves to
Tickle it secretly
I'm always in the mood
For kickin' it back
And giving Robert a pat
With Eggerson Keaveney!
Oh, kickin' it back, straight up
Chillin' with
Eggerson Keaveney
I'm always in the mood
For watching his back
While he does his retail-therapying
Whenever he goes shopping
He picks up things
And he drops them
Right down the back of his shirt
He had an extra skin pouch
Surgically attached
To the small of his back
So he can catch all the snacks
He's Eggerson Keaveney!
I've been spendin' all my time
With Eggerson Keaveney
I've been spendin' all the vibes
With Eggerson Keaveney
I've been comitting petty crimes
With Eggerson Keaveney
Well I couldn't live my life
Without Eggerson Keaveney
