Prologue / The Day I Got Expelled

The gods are real Like the Greek gods Like the ones you learned about But weren't paying attention to Well, they don't pay attention to you, either Especially if you're their kid The gods have godly things to do Godly places they need to see Godly plans they need to make That don't include Me Yeah, the Gods are real And they have kids And those kids have Issues Issues Daddy doesn't love me And mommy is a god Mommy can't protect me And daddy is a god Mommy is too busy And daddy is too busy Busy, busy, busy, busy being a god Yeah You never listen to me You never listen You never listen to me You never listen, oh You never listen but Now, you're gonna listen 'Cause it's time you heard our side of the story It's time you heard our story Look! I didn't wanna be a half-blood I didn't ask to be a hero seeking praise Being a half-blood, it's scary It mostly gets you killed in very nasty ways I didn't want to cause trouble, trouble I'm less a player and more the played And, honestly, I'd be totally fine If I could make it to the next grade, next grade It wasn't dirty socks or my stepdad It was danger that I smelled The day it all went down The day I got expelled Maybe you don't know what a half-blood is because your life is normal and happy and not constantly in danger, but my life? Let me set the scene We were on this freaky field trip (Freaky trip) That's when this story should probably start We were geeking out on ancient Greek At the New York Metropolitan Museum Of Art We stopped by all the statues And learned about the gods With Mr. Brunner and my substitute, Mrs. Dodds Hadn't done nothing wrong Wasn't rude Hadn't rebelled On the day it all went down The day I got expelled (Spoken) The Greek gods! Almighty titans of earth, sea, and sky! But even they were children once. And they didn't have it easy Their father, Kronos, feared the day his children would one day inherit the earth. So what did he do? Anyone? Anyone? He ate them! Ah... thank you, Mrs. Dodds But! one child, Zeus, escaped and devised a plan to rescue his brothers and sisters! He tricked Kronos into eating a rock. And what did Kronos do? Anyone? Any student? He vomited them up! I didn't really get the story At least it wasn't boring as I'd feared But is it me, or is Greek mythology Not deeply weird? I didn't want to pay attention (Pay attention! Pay attention!) Now I wish I had taken notes But my focus is in question And gods and indigestion caused a groan from all our throats Ew! Baaaaaah! Dude, what was that? Uh, nothing! My best friend was acting strange At which he so excelled The day it all went down The day I got expelled Why do you have peanut butter in your hair? Ask Nancy Bobofit. She's a monster! Not literally. I don't think She threw a peanut butter sandwich at you? She threw a peanut butter sandwich at you, I stopped it. With my head Grover, you're a good friend Aw Dude, I'm your only friend Percy Jackson! I knew something was up When I heard my name get yelled The day it all went down I saw something odd in Mrs. Dodds' frown The day it all got weird The day I got expelled Mr. Jackson Oh-oh-oh-oh! Mr. Jackson Oh-oh-oh-oh! Mr. Jackson! Please see me by the sphinx Look, if this is about Nancy Bobofit, she only hates me because I tried to get her to stop wedgie-ing the first graders I have heard much about you... Percy Jackson Really? That's very dedicated for a substitute Kicked out of five schools in six years. One might question your parentage Hey, don't talk about my mom And your father? That's right... you don't know who he is! What's this about anyway? Uh, Mrs. Dodds? You have something growing on your What ho, Percy! Mr. Brunner! What am I supposed to do with a pen, Sword! Woah! Mr. Brunner? Mrs... Dodds? Um I didn't know what just had happened Was that all a creepy, crazy dream? My teacher was a creature Then she vanished in the ether With a demon scream The next thing that I knew I was where detention was held The day it all got real The day I got Expelled? I tried, Percy, but the headmaster stands firm in his decision. You were supposed to stay with the group. And this was your final warning But it wasn't my fault, it was Mrs. Dodds! She lured me away, she attacked me, and... you saw it! Did I? And you gave me that pen! Only it wasn't a pen, it was a sword, and What? Percy... we've never had a teacher named Mrs. Dodds Perhaps it's for the best. This wasn't the place for you. It was only a matter of time before- I got kicked out? That's not what I was going to You think I'm trouble, just like everyone else No, but, that is to say, I can only accept the best from you, Percy. Someday you'll understand why, I'm truly sorry Yeah well, I'm sorry I let you down Maybe he's right. You never fit in at this school anyway. You're not exactly Normal? Exactly! I mean, uh, I'll see you on the bus So if you think you are a halfblood Better get headed to the exits now 'Cause folks will think you're lying Better run and don't start crying 'Cause you're monster chow Or stick around and maybe you'll learn from me This ain't Odysseus' Odyssey So hear me out If you're so compelled But, nobody listens to me They never listen Nobody listens to me They never listen, oh Dude! You got Expelled I didn't wanna be a halfblood (Expelled!) I didn't ask to be a halfblood (Expelled!) Expelled!