Surgery

Did a lot of yoga three years ago

Read a book for my inner untamed little girl

Found a podcast to laugh for no reason

And a doctor who knows all my demons

I’m coming back to my body

I don’t love it, yet, but dammit, I’m trying

Every mirror gets kinder to me

But I know, I know what I need

It’s not parts work, group therapy,

Meditation, or reparenting

It’s surgery

One more whiskey for sleeping

We’re surviving on weak anesthesia

Put me under, I need the procedure

Something hard to make everything easier

We’ve done a lot of good work to make peace

But I know, I know what I need

It’s not patience, more family,

A vacation, a couples’ retreat

It’s surgery

Tried to be grateful, tried to be faithful

Tried to compare with a much dimmer fate

But the surgery’s set now, I wanna feel better

And I’m more myself without you

I’m coming back to my body

I don’t love it, yet, but dammit, I’m trying

I know, I know what I need

I know, I know what I need