Star-Lord vs Captain Jack Sparrow (feat. Mike Choe & Freeced)

One, two, three Did you chart course? (Yeah) To the best and likable Guardian of the Galaxy The mother-effin' Star-Lord? I take pirates and ravage 'em, then make it look like an art form How I'm sending them starboard (woo) That measly craft can't even travel through space The off-and-on-again captain of wooden planks and some crates C'mon it's not even fun, I shoot a blast and it breaks (hey) Lookin' like something that Groot could ask on a date (yeah) I understand ya, Captain Hook, we couldn't be savvier You don't care about the loot unless there's booze inside Maybe if you hadn't got that "Moves Like Jagger" stagger Then you wouldn't have been practically marooned five times And if he was mute, then he would have (yeah) More gold, less mutinies I track two deaths between you and me So back off, or we can shoot for three (woo) I hope that eyeliner you're rocking is waterproof Or when I make you cry I bet you'll look like Rocket Raccoon (aw, screw you) Speaking of, tell Barbosa I said Unless he wants to hop home, he should cover that leg (huh) This giant perv's worth a jar of dirt All this water and he'd still die of thirst I'm not gonna be the first to give him a curse (yeah) Yeah, Sparrow overboard because I'm flipping the bird If you think my ship lacks the caliber to do damage Then you're a pinch wrong You best start believin' in tired old cannons, mate 'Cause you're in one Who are you, ay? Some poncy explorer? Some stowaway who stowed away in one of my barrels? I forgot who you were, and I'm not even Gamora But she'll always remember one Captain Jack Spar- I row my boat, so flow's no trouble You got no ammo, you only blow bubbles Thanos had choked but no, this bloke fumbled And eroded, hope he's so disposable We all see things when we run out of beer crates But if you think your dad's a planet? That's a bit weird, mate A demigod too? I believe that he's lost it Is there perhaps a tribe keeping you hostage? Oh, savage! You and your posse's ocean fodder I'll take the lot and then stuff 'em in Davy Jones' locker That be the place the dead depart to from beyond the water Ask nicely or the rodent won't say hi to Yondu for ya! Alright guys, step back Yeah, people aren't cargo, granted But you mentioned Gamora, so eff that To me, your measly crew is target practice You reek, and with that libido Any woman who ever has to hoist your sails would heave, ho Cap, Cap'n Crunch before he reloads Do you really think I couldn't crush an Ego? (Oh) Your franchise was fun to start Then your writing walked the plank and jumped the shark But your fifth movie was immersive if you buy it You'll know what it's like to be swindled by pirates Gibbs, Plan B! Plan B, Gibbs! There once was a kid with no ounce of a clue Abducted and ripped from his house for doubloons Deprived from a childhood, he's now a buffoon Like his brain has been draining the Fountain of Youth Your state is a place you don't need to be visiting Based on your fate, you already live in misery Can't call you son if you're not a son to someone Skimmed through your bloody films and thought "Where's the mum gone?" The key to your heart when your heart's in a chest We all have a partner to dance with, unless Your maiden gets taken away by her dad And now she's an ex you can't place on a map Yo-ho, woe is me! Ripe with depression, 'tis the life you lead Drowning your sorrows like they're dying at sea Just don't touch the rum 'cause that's mine, savvy? Since you're zarg-nuts, let me simplify Bitch, you're a fickle guy who can't ever stick to or pick a side You either die or let the Guardians get boarding your ship It's like we're taking over a second Disney ride That talking octopus has got you scared to death? I saw that dude on Counter-Earth when he was selling meth You spent the rest of your entire life on a quest to extend it For execs to execute you, sever ties, and fucking end it Sever ties? Oh, right! Like James Gunn did I'll never stop flowing like the waterwheel, I run in Oh look, we're in luck 'ere lads, there's gold hidden in his ship The guy with the eyebrows, nab his limbs and we'll be rich But now, who will save you when you drop off the airlock door? In space, no one hears your face pop like popcorn I should've fought Thor, kept this captain to captain So do what you do best and just be a distraction, ay?