You're The Top (with Ryan O'Neal)

At words poetic I'm so pathetic that I always have found it best

Instead of getting it off my chest, to let 'em rest unexpressed

I hate parading my serenading as I'll probably miss a bar

But if this ditty is not so pretty, at least it'll tell you how great you are

You're the top, you're the coliseum, you're the top

You're the Louvre Museum

You're a melody from a symphony by Strauss

You're a Bendel Bonnet, a Shakespeare sonnet, you're Mickey Mouse

You're the Nile, you're the Tower of Pisa

You're the smile on the Mona Lisa

I'm a worthless check, a total wreck, a flop

But if baby, I'm the bottom, you're the top

You're the top, you're Mahatma Ghandi

You're the top, you are Napoleon Brandy

You're the purple light of a summer night in Spain

You're the national gallery, you're Garbo's salary, you're cellophane

You are sublime, you're a turkey dinner

You're the time, the time of the derby winner

I'm a toy balloon that is fated soon to pop

But if baby, I'm the bottom, you're the top

Steve, there is something I gotta tell ya

What is it Judy?

Well, um, you're the top

I am?

You're a Waldorf salad

Oh, no, no, let me say it

You're the top

Me too?

That's right

You're a Berlin ballad

Oh, that's nice, you're the nimble tread of the feet of Fred Astaire

Actually I don't dance very well

You are an O'Neill drama

You're whistlers mother

Mamma

Sorry

You're Camembert

Camembert?

Let's see, you're a rose

Um, that is sweet, you're inferno's Dante

That's a very intellectual reference

You're the nose, I mean, I mean, well

Watch it, what, what, what, what, what?

On the great Durante

That's better, I'm a lazy lout who is just about to storm

Let's not storm

But if baby, I'm the bottom

She's the one for me

And I've got him, 'cause if baby, I'm the bottom

You're the top