St. Stephen's Day Murders

I knew of two sisters whose name it was Christmas

And one was named Dawn, of course

The other one was named Eve

I wonder if they grew up hating the season

The goodwill that lasts till the Feast of St. Stephen

For that is the time to eat, drink, and be merry

Till the beer has all spilled and the whiskey has flowed

And the whole family tree you neglected to bury

Are feeding their faces until they explode

There'll be laughter and tears over Tia Marias

Mixed up with that drink made from Gilbey's

'Cause it's all we've got left as they draw their last breath

Oh, it's nice for the kids as you finally get rid of them

In the St. Stephen's Day murders

Uncle is garglin' a heart-breakin' air

While the babe in his arms pulls out all that remains of his hair

And we're not drunk enough yet to dare criticize

The great big kipper tie he's about to baptize

With his gin-flavored whiskers and kisses of sherry

His best Chrimbo shirt slung out over the shop

While the lights from the Christmas tree blow up the telly

His face closes in like an old cold pork chop

And the carcass of the beast left over from the feast

May still be found haunting the kitchen

And there's life in it yet we may live to regret

When the ones that we poisoned stop twitchin'

There'll be laughter and tears over Tia Marias

Mixed up with that drink made from Gilbey's

'Cause it's all we've got left as they draw their last breath

Oh, it's nice for the kids as you finally get rid of them (Rid of them)

In the St. Stephen's Day murders