Poring over a letter written when I was alive

Looking for the words describing what the feeling's like

I remember an April night; signed my life away

I forgot I had something to say

I'm on the side of the Dog that has bitten the hand that's been feeding him;

Just take the beating then - it's worth the lesson that the Master learns

And I'm undermining the stone that's been blocking the cave that I'm crawling in;

It's not a deadly sin

All bets are off now that the Dog has turned

Held down and handed everything I need in life

Taken with the notion that what's easy must be right

Looking lucky and feeling low

No one else could see

I'd become someone that isn't me

"I'm unhappy" I tell myself to my complete surprise

"You're not deaf and blind open your ears, use your eyes."

Something broke and I saw it right; must have been my chain

I lashed out and then I ran away