My life is being measured by this endless roll, this endless roll

My life is being measured by this endless roll, this endless roll

This roll of terrible bags, two hundred terrible bags

These bags infuriate me to no end, to no end

Endless roll, endless roll

Endless roll, endless

Roll

Kirkland Signature

Your drawstrings don't work

Kirkland Signature

Are they decorative? Are they decorative!?

How much more can I endure?

Or should I cut my losses?

How much more can I endure?

Or should I just cut my losses?

Endless roll, endless roll

Endless roll, endless

Roll

Ignoring the drawstring and tying a knot

At the top of the bag I wish that I hadn't bought

When it's all over, the two hundred are gone

I'm gonna throw a party on my front lawn

And when the party is over, I'll discard the trash

Put it into a brand that deserves my cash

Deserves my cash

And when the party's all over, I'll discard the trash

Put it into a brand that deserves my cash

Deserves my cash

My life is being measured by this endless roll, this endless roll

My life is being measured by this endless roll, this endless roll

These bags infuriate me to no end, to no end

These bags infuriate me to no end, to no end

Endless roll

Endless roll

Endless roll

Endless roll

(Endless roll)

Your drawstrings just don't work at all

I had other drawstring bags before, so I know how they're supposed to work

These bags function as though the design of drawstrings on trash bags were merely decorative and not actually expected to shrink and eventually close the opening of a bag of trash

When I take out the trash, I now find myself tying a knot at the top of the bag and ignoring the drawstring feature altogether to save myself the irritation of trying, and boy have I tried

I remain incredulous that the strings are there

Supposed to work, so I've tried so many times, thinking the last time it failed so spectacularly, it must've been a mistake of God

No! It's all two hundred! All two hundred of these bags are shit!