The Life I Lead

I feel a surge of deep satisfaction Much as a king astride his noble steed Thank you. When I return from daily strife to hearth and wife How pleasant is the life I lead! Dear, it's about the children... Yes, yes, yes. I run my home precisely on schedule At 6: 01, I march through my door My slippers, sherry, and pipe are due at 6: 02 Consistent is the life I lead! George, they're missing! Splendid, splendid. It's grand to be an Englishman in 1910 King Edward's on the throne; it's the age of men I'm the lord of my castle, the sov'reign, the liege! I treat my subjects--servants, children, wife With a firm but gentle hand, noblesse oblige! It's 6: 03 and the heirs to my dominion Are scrubbed and tubbed and adequately fed And so I'll pat them on the head and send them off to bed Ah, lordly is the life I lead! A British nanny must be a gen'ral The future empire lies within her hands And so the person that we need to mold the breed Is a nanny who can give commands! You getting this, Winifred? Oh yes, dear, every word! A British bank is run with precision A British home requires nothing less! Tradition, discipline, and rules must be the tools Without them... Disorder! Catastrophe! Anarchy! In short, you have a ghastly mess!