A Secretary Is Not a Toy

Gentlemen! Gentlemen! A secretary is not a toy, No my boy; Not a toy to fondle and dandle And playfully handle In search of some puerile joy. No, a secretary is not, Definitely not a toy. You're absolutely right, Mr. Bratt! We wouldn't have any other way, Mr. Bratt! It's a company rule, Mr. Bratt! A secretary is not a toy, No my boy, Not a toy. So do not go jumping for joy, Boy! A secretary is not... A secretary is not, A secretary is not ...a toy, A secretary is not to be Used for play therapy. Be good to the girl you employ, boy; Remember, no matter what Neurotic trouble you've got, A secretary is not ...a toy. She's a highly specialized key Component of operation unity... A fine and sensitive mechanism To serve the office community With a mother at home She supports. And you'll find nothing like her at F.A.O. Schwartz! A secretary is not a pet, Nor an erector set. It happened to Charlie McCoy, boy! They fired him a shot The day the fellow forgot A secretary is not... A toy! A secretary is not... A toy! And when you put it to use, Observe, When you put her to use: That you don't find the name Lionel On her caboose! A secretary is not a thing One buy key, hold by string Her pad... Is to write in, And not spend the night in If that's what you plan to enjoy. No! The secretary you got, Is definitely not Employed to do a gavotte, Or you know what, Before you jump for joy, Remember this my boy, A secretary is not, A tinker toy!