My Perfect Cousin

I've got a cousin called Kevin He's sure to go to heaven Always spotless, clean and neat As smooth as you'll get 'em He's got a fur lined sheepskin jacket My ma said they cost a packet But she won't even let me explain That me and Kevin we're just not the same Oh, my perfect cousin What I like to do he doesn't He's his family's pride and joy His mother's little golden boy He's got a degree in economics Maths, physics and bionics He thinks that I'm a cabbage 'Cause I hate University Challenge Even at the age of ten Smart boy Kevin was a smart boy then He always beat me at Subbuteo 'Cause he 'flicked to kick' And I didn't know Oh, my perfect cousin What I like to do he doesn't He's his family's pride and joy His mother's little golden boy His mother bought him a synthesiser Got the Human League into advise her Now he's making lots of noise Playing along with the art school boys Girls try to attract his attention But what a shame, it's in vain, total rejection He will never be left on the shelf 'Cause Kevin, he's in love with himself Oh, my perfect cousin What I like to do he doesn't He's his family's pride and joy His mother's little golden boy