I Really Don't Hate Christmas

You see Valentine's is torture, and my Birthday is a mess New Year's is a lot of noise, and Arbor Day's a pest Halloween's a horror but I guess I must confess That I really don't hate Christmas You see Flag Day is infernal, April Fool's is just a bore Mardi Gras is a waste, unless you own a candy store All these other holidays I can admit that I abhor But I really don't hate Christmas Now it isn't that I like it At the most I feel ambivalence But should I really just destroy it? I'll admit that I'm still on the fence It makes me tense From the evil scientists' community I'm sure to get ejected But for Christmas I can't seem to summon any true invective Because what is there to hate? I mean it's really so subjective No, I really don't hate Christmas I hate puppy dogs and kittens, I hate flowers in the spring Heck, I even hate the sunshine and the birdies when they sing I can work up animosity for almost anything Tell me why I don't hate Christmas Though my childhood was atrocious Christmas never was that bad, you see So the most that I can muster is complete and total apathy What's wrong with me? How can I prove that I'm an evil villain worth his salt When with a holiday so jolly I can't even find a fault If I didn't feel ambiguous I'd launch a big assault But I really don't hate Christmas Oh, what the heck, kickline No I really No I really don't hate Christmas! I have an intense burning indifference!