If Life is a Gift, It's in Very Poor Taste

I gave all I had to a fantasy Now my only desire is to quiet my mind My future will never appeal to anyone When I'm alone in my chair I swear Never again Will I trust anyone Fear is defined when your back's against the wall Nobody wants to admit they're wrong We all want to win Without confidence Without trust Love is counterfeit Fear decides who's wrong or right Where do you think your lover goes When you're gone Where do you think those lips end up? It's you against your heart Don't you ever stop to wonder why you always wind up alone Because your value is low Don't you question why you sexualize death She reminds you of home While life keeps breaking your heart Came on the back of the magazine My only desire is to have no desire All I want is to stop breathing I'm down on my knees I suck it down... suck it down Without conflict Without pain Love is saccharine Fear provides an active interest Compared to what you're going through It's a thrill Scared of where you might end up A weight against your heart It doesn't seem like anything will ever change for me At least not in a way that I can feel Something went wrong I never wanted to feel This paranoid or this paralyzed Everyone I love... lies Don't you ever stop to wonder why you always wind up alone It's because you don't value yourself Don't you question why you sexualize death She seduces you slowly While living tears you apart