There Are No Gnomes in Sweden

There are no gnomes in Sweden No reports that anybody down there has ever seen them There are no gnomes in Sweden No reports that anybody down there has ever seen them No little hats or jolly beards, no rotted teeth and Not one child has ever been reported being eaten Not one child Just like there are no Fins in Finland Now while at first that may sound grand It's just because they've all been eaten by the hungry gnomes who aren't Aren't in Sweden There are no gnomes in Sweden No reports that anybody down there has ever seen them They've never seen them There are no gnomes in Sweden No reports that anybody down there has ever seen them They've never seen them Now Viking is as Viking does and Vikings can't be beaten And as that is, it's most unwise to try to eat Norwegians But hungry gnomes they come and go, a belly-full they're feeding Pockets lined with Swedish gold, they gnash their broken teeth and scold They lick their bloody lips and cry "we'll eat you up until you die" There are no gnomes in Sweden No reports that anybody down there has ever seen them They've never seen them There are no gnomes in Sweden No reports that anybody down there has ever seen them They've never seen them No little hats, no jolly beards So if you're Swedish, rest assured, your bureaucrats have bought them all And logic tells us now That you certainly can't be Finnish So 'fore I finish this tale of woe, if you're a Viking, maybe you'll take a liking to us And leave us alone now, for we are the people laying low The not so tasty Danish, if the truth be told The not so tasty Danish The not so tasty Danish If the truth be told There are no gnomes in Sweden No reports that anybody down there has ever seen them There are no gnomes in Sweden No reports that anybody down there has ever seen them There are no gnomes in Sweden No reports that anybody down there has ever seen them They've never seen them There are no gnomes in Sweden No report that anybody down there has ever seen them They've never seen them No little hats No jolly beards