Too Happy

My bed has become a house With four tight walls surrounding that sometimes slowly cave in Until I can't move a muscle Until I can't breathe This is the worst part of my existence When I am all of the grossest parts of myself Although some days I am happy Often way too happy But these days often get lost in the mix when the next day I become so upset that I can't remember what it's like to want to go outside Giving myself time all alone it's a mistake that hurts my brain It spirals me into a deep sadness when asked why I can't explain My body aches my heart breaks my face has been swollen for days And honestly I'm so sick and tired of trying not to feel this way My bed is my new best friend With two strong arms inviting me to stay wrapped up all day Until I can't speak a sentence Until I'm empty I hate every part of my existence And hate every single part of myself I feel like I'll never be happy I'll never let myself be happy But these days often get lost in the mix when the next day I become so depressed that I can't remember what it's like to want to be alive Giving myself time all alone it's a mistake that hurts my brain It spirals me into a deep sadness when asked why I can't explain My body aches my heart breaks my face has been swollen for days And honestly I'm so sick and tired of trying not to feel this way