I'm Doing My Best

What do you think when you see me? Don't judge me, I'm doing my best Why couldn't my life be easy? That's because mine is a test And maybe I'm broken completely I'm always so fucking depressed I'm meaningless, nobody needs me I'm everyone's deepest regret Yeah, this mind that I have is a sad one This heart that I have is a black one I contemplate using this handgun I reminisce times that I had once With the girl of my dreams that I had once I used to have friends, now I have none I gotta just face it, I can't run I'm cursed to be someone you can't love More medication, I need it right now All these prescriptions keep bringing me down Crying for help but they don't hear a sound Head underwater, tonight I might drown I come from torture and horror, my life isn't normal It kills me, I hate to reflect I don't trust anyone, I said fuck everyone I can't think straight but I'm trying my best Keep all my nightmares and secrets I try but I can't let them go They see my emotions as weakness But they only see what I show Some people call me a genius Others would say I'm a joke I can't escape from my demons I'm stuck in this world without hope Yeah, watch as my spirit disintegrates Watch as my body obliterates Trauma, it caused all this inner hate Memories I can't eliminate I'm going down the decisions made This isn't sudden, I've been afraid Crazy and hollow, I'm still the same I can't break out of my sinful ways Telling y'all sorrowful stories And not for attention and not for the glory It's just how I feel, I'm just doing this for me That's why I don't sleep until 4 in the morning And when I'm on the mic, it's a suicide warning I'm wearing a halo, already I'm soaring But I ain't no angel, I'm evil, unholy I'm merely a ghost in this city, I'm lonely Yeah, looks are deceitful, search under the surface Reality's fake, a ridiculous circus Where finding your purpose means finding a purpose And being yourself means you hide behind curtains Just struggles and burdens, the pain only worsens The future's uncertain, the past always lurking The present converges but time's a diversion From whatever's next, it doesn't concern us True pain isn't something that just goes away It stays inside you forever And all you can do is pray for a better tomorrow It may not come, but that's reality It's just the world we live in What do you think when you see me? Don't judge me, I'm doing my best Why couldn't my life be easy? That's because mine is a test And maybe I'm broken completely I'm always so fucking depressed I'm meaningless, nobody needs me I'm everyone's deepest regret Yeah, this mind that I have is a sad one This heart that I have is a black one I contemplate using this handgun I reminisce times that I had once With the girl of my dreams that I had once I used to have friends, now I have none I gotta just face it, I can't run I'm cursed to be someone you can't love DempseyRollBoy In a world of my own