The Christmas Party

In early December I'd gotten the word A party in honor of the Great Savior's birth With roast meat and sweet treats and music and dance I thought I would take me a chance He thought he would take him a chance The day of the party and all I did think Was music and dancing and dining and drink I brushed up my whiskers and practiced my grin Poured me three fingers of gin He poured him three fingers of gin I shook with my hand and I winked with my eye Presented my host with five apples in pie I walked to the table it wasn't too far But I'd left my teeth home in the jar He left his teeth home in the jar I followed the music and saw such a girl With blonde hair in ringlets and dark hair in curls I asked her to dance as we stepped through the door But her wood leg fell off on the floor Her wood leg fell off on the floor The music went quiet the people did stare A one legged blonde with the curly dark hair The bandleader coughed and he started to talk He said, Take her outside for a walk He said, Take her outside for a walk It's a party a Christmas party Who could ask any more? Who could ask any more? I picked up her leg and we went to my car She started to cuss and lit up a cigar She lifted her skirt to show off her tattoo It said, Merry Christmas to you It said, Merry Christmas to you It said, Merry Christmas