it's hard to be me

I carry myself Through all of these memories, but It's getting harder just to be me (Yeah) Somebody save me (Ah) It's like everyday is a different struggle Young man, but I found a hustle E-L-Y, that's a piece of the puzzle I'm really blessed, but I'm still stressed How I lost my muscle at a young age Changed me, I had blind rage Saw the world as a still beige Seemed to lose it's color Self esteem, in an empty gutter Was praying for flooding that never would cover the losses I took Rather just die than admit to my family cause they would discover The path that I took Used drugs as a cover, to cover the fact That I fucked up myself to a point where I'd never recover Got lost in the lust and I fell for a lover, that never would love me The way that I needed Broken and pleading for someone to save me but no one would save me I thought that she would But I ended up hurting somebody that can't be replaced Now when I look at life, I'm thinking like what a disgrace I made Just dig me a grave and bury me deep, at least six feet Cause I don't wanna breathe, and I don't wanna be The person I turned out to be in end Now I'm focused on turning the page and Becoming a person that I could be proud of Got tired of telling myself that I'm not it So I gotta be it, before I would peace this Yeah, making my peace I'm making my peace Before I would peace this Yeah, making my peace Before it all tears me to pieces I carry myself Through all of these memories, but It's getting harder just to be me Somebody save me Man I been lost for a while Struggling finding my way in this life I just forget how to smile Wonder what happened wish that I wasn't alive Lately I been in denial Saying I'm fine, running away from my mind Shit ain't been right since the trail It ain't been right since the trial They locked me for up like a year I ain't have nobody there Couldn't run like I did in the past, and I was facing all my fears Coming to terms with all that I've done All the feelings starting to flood I'm drowning alone I ran out luck I was so close to just giving it up Now I'm out but I don't feel like I'm free On a mission tryna find all my dreams To steady losing never getting no sleep I'm feeling empty getting closer to e So what do I do, and who do I be Life it been weighing me down I don't what I should think Cause I get caught in my addiction Tryna not to make a difference Wishing I could stop the sinning Knowing I can't be forgiving My whole life I'm never winning My whole life I'm never winning, for real I pray this a dream and that none of this real I'm waking up where I don't have to feel Don't have to stress and I don't have to heal I don't have to stress and I don't have to heal I carry myself Through all of these memories, but It's getting harder just to be me Somebody save me