You Never Know (feat. Jean Grae)

She was on her way to becomin' a college graduate

Wouldn't even stop to talk to the average kid

The type of Latina I'd sit and contemplate marriage with

Fuck the horse and carriage shit, her love was never for hire

Disciplined, intellectual beauty's what I desire

Flyer than Salma Hayek or Jennifer Lopez

Everyone told me kickin' it to her was hopeless

At first I just thought she didn't mess with broke kids

The thug **** always talkin' about how they smoke kids

But the rich, sniff coke kids got no play

"I'm not even interested," is what her body language would say

Everyone around the way gave up tryna get in it

'Cause didn't matter how good your game was, she wasn't with it

All the block bitches was jealous but wouldn't admit it

Talk shit and deny to everyone that they did it

'Cause they regretted the long list of **** that they let hit it

And no one ever gave them shit except McDonald's and did-dick

Smokin' weed with thoughts of envy whenever they lit it

She spoke intelligently and they bit it, always tryna copy

But when they tried to use her vocab they sounded sloppy

She had a style all her own, respectful and pure

I was sick in the head for her and there wasn't a cure

Oh, baby

Don't you know that time waits for no man?

My fate, it's all planned, I'm blessed just to know you

To have loved and have lost just to hold you all night

Can't find a reason why God came between you and I

If I had the chance again I'd never let you go

Hold tight to your love 'cause you never know

Her eyes were brown and beautiful yet empty and sad

I used to talk to her occasionally and she was glad

That I wasn't just another **** tryna get in it

So every now and then we'd stop and talk for a minute

I didn't have a gimmick so the minutes turned to hours

On her birthday I gave her a poem with flowers

Then I took her out to dinner after her cousin's baby shower

We talked about power to the people and such

We spent more time together but it was never enough

I never tried to sneak a touch or even cop a feel

I was too interested in keepin' it real

Perfectly honest and complete

She would always call me "cariño," and never "Technique"

Bought me a new book to read every two or three weeks

Forever changing the expression of my thoughts when I speak

It was because of her I even deaded all of my freaks

She convinced me to stop hangin' out on the streets

To stop robbin' and stealin' from people like you

Instead I took her out to the Apollo and the Bronx Zoo

Museo del Barrio and the Metropolitan too

Got to the point where I was either with her or my crew

So I decided one day to tell her my feelin's was true

I couldn't live without her, so I told her, facin' my fears

But honey's only response was a face full of tears

She could only sob hysterically, holdin' me tight

I tried to speak but she wouldn't stop until I left sight

I felt like a moth who got himself too close to the light

Except I didn't burn, I turned cold after that night

Yeah, don't you know that time waits for no man?

My fate, it's all planned, I'm blessed just to know you

To have loved and have lost just to hold you all night

Can't find a reason why God came between you and I

If I had the chance again I'd never let you go

Hold tight to your love 'cause you never know

I went on with my life, college and my career

Ended up locked up like an animal for a year

Where the C.O.s talk to you like they were the overseer

Then I got sent to the hole when my exit was near

At night in my cell I'd close my eyes and I'd see 'er

Hold her close in my dreams but when I woke she disappeared

Just an empty cell until the state gave me parole

In the summer came back intact and on track

But the fact of the matter is I still felt cold

Even after my mother hugged me, cryin' at home

My real **** would catch me thinkin', outta my zone

Fuckin' lots of different women but I still felt alone

Relatively well known around the New York underground

But I kept thinkin' of her and how we used to be down

The sound of her voice and the beautiful smell of her hair

Though gone physically, somehow it was still there

I had to do something because this shit was too much to bear

So I went and visited the building where she used to live

The world looks a lot different after you do a bid

The way your life done changed while primitive minds are still stuck

In the same game, like her cousin who was on the corner slingin' cocaine

Stepped in the lobby and tapped the button next to her last name

Her mom buzzed me up and hugged me up like a mother oughta

But her facial expression changed when I asked about her daughter

Time waits for no man

My fate, it's all planned, I'm blessed just to know you

To have loved and have lost just to hold you all night

Can't find a reason why God came between you and I

If I had the chance again I'd never let you go

Hold tight to your love 'cause you never know

She told me that there was a note for me that was left behind

And she had left it there waiting for such a long time

I was inclined to ask about it but she brought it up first

I saw a tear swelling up in her eye and then she cursed

She told me where the letter was and I started thinkin' the worst

Reversed my position, stepped over and opened the door

And sure enough, there was an envelope with my name on the floor

"Nobody loves you more than me, cariño," is what the letter said

"By the time you get to read this I'll probably be dead

But when you left in '97 a part of me went to Heaven

I thank God, at least I got to know what love really was

But it hurt me to see what true love really does

'Cause even though we never made love you were all that there was

It was because I loved you so much that I had to make you leave

You made me doubt the way I thought, you made me want to believe

And then I slipped up, and I let you get close to me

It was hard to not be openly when people spoke to me

This was not the way I thought my life was supposed to be

Baby, don't you see? I had a blood transfusion that left me with HIV

Hope didn't exist for me since late in 1993

I died a virgin, I wish I could have given myself to you

I cried in the hospital 'cause there was no one else but you

Promise that you'll meet me in Paradise inevitably

No matter what, I'll keep your love forever with me"

What happened for the rest of the day is still a blur

But I remember wishing that I was dead instead of her

She was buried on August 3rd, the story ends without a sequel

And now you know why Technique don't fuckin' fall in love with people

Hold the person that you love closely if they're next to you

The one you love, not the person that simply have sex with you

Appreciate them to the fullest extent and then beyond

'Cause you never really know what you got until it's gone