Fleeting Faith

I know he won't remember me I saw my body walking off the edge I tried to stop it but I had no control of it Am I a child of God Or is this a façade? I'm not comfortable with the question Am I just talking to myself? You've thrown me into the flame Now your hands are covered in ashes There's nothing left in me but hell And if heaven is real can we pretend that it isn't? Where is God He knew my face But now he wouldn't recognize it Feels like a thousand times I've cursed his name I know he won't remember me This isn't what I was taught This isn't how I was raised But I've fought with myself and you so long I can't look back to those days I've never felt further from you Where is God He knew my face But now he wouldn't recognize it Feels like a thousand times I've cursed his name I know he won't remember me Where is God He knew my face But I don't think he would recognize me It feels like a thousand times I've cursed his name He won't remember me But don't you dare give up on us The ones who find it hard to love We're questioning everything And killing ourselves I don't feel safe I'm losing the battle with this Fleeting faith Cut me out Bleed me dry Nothing but A bastard son