How To Handle a Woman

Wasn't there a night?

On a summer, long gone by

We passed a couple, wrangling away

And did I not say, "Merlin

What if that chap were I?"

And did he not give counsel, and say -

What was it now?

My mind's a wall!

Oh, yes

Oh yes

Now I recall

How to handle a woman

"There's a way," said the wise old man

"A way known by every woman

Since the whole rigmarole began"

"Do I flatter her?" I begged him, "Answer!

Do I threaten or cajole or plead?

Do I brood, or play the gay romancer?"

Said he, smiling, "No indeed

"How to handle a woman

Mark me well, I will tell you, sir

The way to handle a woman

Is to love her

Simply love her

Merely love her

Love her

Love her"