I Could've Saved That Bird

The longer I wait, the harder it gets The more I resist, the more I say yes Uncovering trauma with innocent sex Planning the worst, but hoping the best The ones that are close, I push them away When I'm feeling the strain, I get led astray Caught between a rock and a hard place The endless race, a cycling maze Realities spiral, I saw the truth I sunk through the floor, and fell into loops I never feel whole, I'm missing a piece I feel the hole when I'm searching for peace You fill the hole with all that I seek I can't control what I'm meant to see I'm digging the grave for inevitable death Pipe dreams of a future, I get out of this mess The longer I wait, the harder it gets The more I resist, the more I say yes A bottle of Ben, and I saw the shadows They think I'm a witch, I'll be sent to the gallows A bottle of Hen, and the walls get narrow Fuck this bitch, the water's too shallow I saw a bird, on the side of the road Light as a dove, and black as a crow Broken back, with nowhere to go I could've saved it, but my body just froze Tears down my cheek, I call myself weak I am the bird, silent cries from my beak While I watch myself suffer, and do nothing to help I search for some meaning, for what I can't tell