i suck at grieving

There's no studio flats in the country There's no cupholders in the backseat I'm not flailing my arms 'cause I'm happy I'm just a waitress, serving dead meat on Halloween (Halloween) I've been thinking a lot since my Father died He left me some money and it hurt my pride 'Cause I don't know how to spend it right I can barely read my mind (yes, read my mind) It's no surprise, I close my eyes Crossing the roads to get closer to you Catching a cold was the best I can do And it's no secret, you had regrets Kissing your face on the living room floor Your heart don't beat like it did before I can only see your face when I'm dreaming I figured it out, yeah, I suck at grieving I watched The Gilmore Girls for the tenth time I stop at the episode "Richard dies" 'Cause I don't know how you could read that script And not go back for another hit (another hit) There's something I read on the internet That said, people that rewatch shows like this Do it to avoid the disappointment Are more likely to feel exploited (so exploited) It's no surprise, I close my eyes Crossing the roads to get closer to you Catching a cold was the best I can do And it's no secret, you had regrets Kissing your face on the living room floor Your heart don't beat like it did before I can only see your face when I'm dreaming I figured it out, yeah, I suck at grieving Sick to death of late night reading Stuck in bed with no good reason I'm not ill and I'm not bleeding So, why the hell do they call it healing? If I could hear myself screaming I'd have something to believe in I started watching horror movies But nothing else will ever spook me Say you wouldn't want me feeling this upset, focus on my breathing I started playing golf on weekends But nothing works, I suck at grieving I suck at grieving, I suck at grieving I hit the dirt, it's so deceiving But nothing works, I suck at grieving I hit the dirt, it's so deceiving But nothing works, I suck at grieving I'm in the bed you used to sleep in God, it hurts, I suck at grieving