Everywhere Is Bad

Everywhere is bad I'm sorry if that makes you sad But wherever you go, there's one thing you should know That everywhere is bad Everywhere is bad I'm sorry if that makes you sad But wherever you go, there's one thing you should know That everywhere is bad Philadelphia (trashy streets) San Francisco (there's no more freaks) Seattle (you're soaking wet) Las Vegas (a losing bet) New York (the rep's too high) Los Angeles (polluted sky) Boston (you'll get to fight) Ohio (ha-ha, yeah, right) Miami (climate change) Austin, Texas (it's way too strange) Hawaii (don't be a colonizer) Death Valley (you'll need some moisturizer) Acapulco (easily bored) Pomona (you might get gored) Helsinki (it's way too cold) Rome in Italy (catholic controls) Everywhere is bad I'm sorry if that makes you sad But wherever you go, there's one thing you should know That everywhere is bad Everywhere is bad I'm sorry if that makes you sad But wherever you go, there's one thing you should know That everywhere is bad The ocean (eaten by sharks) Caves in a mountain (they're way too dark) Mars (could use some air) Waxahachie (it's way out there) Nazareth (we can't go back) Non-existence (everything's black) Paradise (lousy food) Hell (too many dudes) It's so hard to find a place Somewhere good to go So don't blame me when I say, "I told you so" You know why? Because everywhere, everywhere, everywhere is bad Everywhere, everywhere, everywhere is bad Everywhere, everywhere, everywhere is bad It's all bad, bad, bad, bad, bad Everywhere, everywhere, everywhere is bad Everywhere, everywhere, everywhere is bad Everywhere, everywhere, everywhere is bad It's all bad, bad, bad, bad, bad Everywhere, everywhere, everywhere is bad Everywhere, everywhere, everywhere is bad Everywhere, everywhere, everywhere is bad It's all bad, bad, bad, bad, bad Everywhere, everywhere, everywhere is bad Everywhere, everywhere, everywhere is bad Everywhere, everywhere, everywhere is bad It's all bad, bad, bad, bad, bad Everywhere, everywhere, everywhere is bad Everywhere, everywhere, everywhere is bad Everywhere, everywhere, everywhere is bad It's all bad, bad, bad, bad, bad Alright