If You Only Played Guitar

I was in a bar up north

Just knocking back a couple drinks

And I struck up a conversation

When a filly gave a wink

I said I'm a country singer

She said that sounds awful hot

Why don't you whip on out your instrument

And show me what you got

Now I told her I was working

With three strings instead of six

'Cause I don't need a big guitar

To make up for a little pick

But I couldn't quite convince her

Naw, she wasn't too impressed

As she turned around and walked away

And this is what she said

You'd play sold out shows in Nashville

You could be a millionaire

You could have your name in lights

From Birmingham out to Belaire

Folks would think you're something special

And I'd give you all my heart

You'd be better if you only played guitar

I was shooting in a pool hall

And I went to take a piss

Next thing I knew a wild old man

Named Eddie walked right in

Well he looked me in the eye

And started going on about

How much I looked like such a cowboy

The way I let it all hang out

Now I reckon he was wasted

I'm not sure just what he meant

But I told him I appreciate

An honest compliment

And I told him I'm a singer

Strumming Appalachian strings

And he looked me in the eye again

And said right back to me

You could be the next Hank Williams

You could make it big one day

You'd have hos in every city

From New York out to LA

You'd get head and tail aplenty

You'd be topping all the charts

You'd be better if you only played guitar

I loaded up my dulcimer

And got behind the wheel

And I took on off to Music Row

To strike a record deal

Producer said son you got talent

And your music's full of soul

I've been reading all these lines

And boy you're writing country gold

But even with that manly voice

And all them sexy chords you play

I just don't think a mountain dulcimer

Would rock the CMAs

Well I shook his hand and thanked him

As he stood up from his desk

And right before I walked away

He gave me one last look and said

You could be on every station

You could make yourself a name

You'd be filling up arenas

From Roanoke to San Jose

You'd have fans on every corner

You could be my biggest star

You'd be better if you only played guitar

Now I don't need a ho in every town

Or my name up in lights

And I don't want to sell my soul

Or play arenas every night

See I got lucky, found a perfect girl

Who loves me for who I am

She's the hottest thing I ever seen

And she likes the way I jam

She don't mind that I been working

With three strings instead of six

I make it for it every night

And man she loves the way I pick

She's worth more than gold or platinum

Hell she's worth more than all the rest

I'd trade it all to spend my life with her

And I knew it when she said

I can be your one and only

Give you everything you dream

We'll have kids and pets and happiness

In our home in Tennessee

Yeah I think you're something special

And I love you as you are

You're so much better 'cause you don't play that damn guitar