Terms And Conditions (Live at New Century Hall)

This has been fucking amazing, Jesus, surreal I'm gonna be thinking about this for the foreseeable future And how good were Keyside and The Guest List, everybody? Big round of applause, come on Sadly, we only have one more song for you, um And before I do that I'd just like to give a massive shoutout To these people around me Can we all give a huge round of applause To Sir. Sam Sumner on the bass guitar The one and only Ben Etches on thе guitar Of course, Kate Couriel on thе violins And last but not least, the one, the only sir Joel Goodwin on the drums These are the terms and conditions for living in the UK First, abandon kindness, it's a fool's game Went to state school in the first place That'll keep you two steps down in the rat race You need to learn to hate America, Russia, climate change China, rich cunts, poor cunts, the weather and the tax rates Fuckers telling you to isolate Labour and the Liberals and the Greens and the Tory state Feminism, snowflakes, the EDL Hate everyone and everything 'til you can't even stand yourself Hate the fact you need money, all those who want money The fucking game and the taste for wealth And find love in beer and drugs and crime Glory days before the others all arrived Seek pride in your nation's contribution in the war Watch films about soldiers, cry at what they died for A fuck ton of corruption, the Houses and the courts The Great British arse that soars Right before it shits all over its own people in hoards In education, policy, tooth and claw And then somewhere between the crackheads and the Lords The people who believe 'em and the police force Is a most glorious nation of pride and patience No, I'm only joking, of course We don't smile too much around here, love Wipe it off your face Our terms and conditions consist of hate, ah Part two of the UK's terms and conditions All but the wealthy and the first-class citizens Anyone poor or born outside of Britain You must follow the following conditions, yes? Okay, so what you're saying is the rules don't apply To anyone with a winning lottery ticket as a bloodline? The fact is, in practice, the rules do apply Exceptions of taxes and COVID guidelines Amongst other things, you know, murder, lies With money, there's no such thing as a crime 'Kay, so what you're saying is your conditions is money making? No, not money-making, money taking Money taking? Yes Money taking, after that, money saving Placing said money in savings So greed! Not greed! Aspirations, see? For those with a first-class degree Of course, delectable family tree Conditions favour the aristocracy Equivalent of sitting in a stadium seat You stand up for a better view, the guy behind can't see Basically, T's and C's mean liberty But freedom doesn't recognise poverty Oh, shit So smile, smile, smile You got much to be thankful for These terms and conditions were never truly yours For the taking Did you have me mistaken when you came to this country halfway? The silly little dreams of a child half-baked The mind of an animal scrounging for bait Did you forget about me? It seems you did I'm the fucking man, I decide who lives and dies You are nothing but the blood between my eyes I'd agree with each part of me You are doomed for all of time To revoke my spell, sans protest Please Thank you so much, I've been Seb Lowe Have an amazing rest of your night, fuck the Tories and definitely don't Step in line Oh I won't smile for you Murder, oh, murder Oh you lie, you lie You, you, you, no, no, no, no Smile, smile, smile, smile For you, for you, for you I'm not gonna smile