if you only knew

I've been tryin' so hard to survive Sometimes I think that I wanna die I feel so fucking guilty 'cause God, I'm so lucky to live my life So I keep all the pain to myself Losin' faith, but nobody can tell Mom, I don't want you worried 'cause that would just hurt me So I pretend I'm fine If you only knew What my mind is tellin' me I should do That I'm drunk and all alone in my room here tonight I'm too sad to cry, it's true, oh If you only knew All the shit my brain is puttin' me through You'd come runnin' over straight to my room here tonight I'm sorry, but I need you, oh If you only knew I wish I was somebody else I'm constantly overwhelmed Now I'm falling again, gettin' drunk with some friends It's a silent cry for help I wanna get better, I want you to know That I can't do this on my own If you only knew What my mind is tellin' me I should do That I'm drunk and all alone in my room here tonight I'm too sad to cry, it's true, oh If you only knew All the shit my brain is puttin' me through You'd come runnin' over straight to my room here tonight I'm sorry, but I need you, oh Take me outta this hell Oh, somebody help Take me outta this hell Oh, I'm not myself I wanna tell you what my mind is tellin' me I should do That I'm drunk and all alone in my room here tonight I'm too sad to cry, but I want to Oh, if you only knew