Everybody in America is Female

All hail to Donald Trump, the once and future chief

Crazy motherfuckers everywhere are sighing with relief

After four long boring years of sanity, hooray, 'cos it

Is time to get a-working on some seriously fucked up shit

So grab your Sharpie, Mister T, it's executive order time

Tell those vile transgender people that their lifestyle is a crime

Your gender at conception is the only one for you

But since all embryos are female for the first six weeks it's true

THAT EVERYBODY IN AMERICA'S NOW FEMALE

The most feminist of nations, the first country in the world

TO DECLARE THAT ALL ITS CITIZENS ARE FEMALE

Whatever junk you may be packing, you are legally a girl

So all trans women are women, it is written in cement

That's what the President's order said so it must be what it meant

CONGRATULATIONS, DONALD TRUMP, YOU'RE THE FIRST WOMAN PRESIDENT

'Cos everyone in America's female now

"Er, excuse me just a moment, I'm a proper scientist"

Oh yeah?

"The premise of your song's amusing, but you may have missed

Technically, new embryos are neither male nor female yet"

Uh...

"We might even say they're genderless"

Oh man, that's even better

EVERYBODY IN AMERICA'S NON-BINARY

So y'all had best get used to calling everybody "they"

GO PUT ON YOUR GENDER NON-SPECIFIC FINERY

And get your ass on Grindr, 'cos this also means you're GAY

And it's only gender-fluid people that this won't affect

I don't know if this was the plan, but hey, when you elect

A FUCKING MORON TO BE PRESIDENT, then what do you expect?

And all Americans are non-binary

And let me tell you siblings, that's just fine with me