You Can't Get a Man with a Gun

Oh, my mother was frightened by a shotgun, they say

That's why I'm such a wonderful shot

I'd be out in the cactus and I'd practice all day

And now tell me what have I got?

I'm quick on the trigger with targets not much bigger

Than a pinpoint, I'm number one

But my score with a feller is lower than a celler

Oh, you can't get a man with a gun

When I'm with a pistol, I sparkle like a crystal

Yes, I shine like the morning sun

But I lose all my luster when with a bronco buster

Oh, you can't get a man with a gun

With a gun, with a gun

No, you can't get a man with a gun

If I went to battle with someone's herd of cattle

You'd have steak when the job was done

But if I shot the herder, they'd holler bloody murder

And you can't shoot a male in the tail like a quail

Oh, you can't get a man with a gun

I'm cool, brave, and daring to see a lion glaring

When I'm out with my Remington

But a look from a mister will raise a fever blister

Oh, you can't get a man with a gun

The gals with umbrellas are always out with fellers

In the rain or the blazin' sun

But a man never trifles with gals who carry rifles

Oh, you can't get a man with a gun

With a gun, with a gun

No, you can't get a man with a gun

A man's love is mighty, he'll even buy a nightie

For a gal who he thinks is fun

But they don't buy pajamas for pistol-packin' mamas

And you can't get a hug from a mug with a slug

Oh, you can't get a man with a gun

If I shot a rabbit, some furrier would grab it

For a coat that would warm someone

But you can't shoot a lover and use him for a cover

Oh, you can't get a man with a gun

If I shot an eagle, although it isn't legal

He'd be stuffed when the job was done

But you can't stuff a feller and watch him turnin' yeller

Oh, you can't get a man with a gun

With a gun, with a gun

No, you can't get a man with a gun

A Tom, Dick, or Harry will build a house for Carrie

When the preacher has made them one

But he can't build you houses with buckshot in his trousers

For a man may be hot, but he's not when he's shot

Oh, you can't get a man with a gun