Ah, Velma

Things ain't the way they used to be

They sure ain't, Mama

They sure ain't

Whatever happened to fair dealing

And pure ethics

And nice manners?

Why is it everyone now

Is a pain in the ass?

Whatever happened to class? (Class)

Whatever happened to "Please, may I?"

And "Yes, thank you"

And "How charming"

Now every son of a bitch

Is a snake in the grass

Whatever happened to class?

Class

Oh, there ain't no gentlemen to open up the doors

There ain't no ladies now

There's only pigs and whores

And even kids'll knock you down so's they can pass

Nobody's got no class

Whatever happened to old values?

And fine morals?

And good breeding?

Now no one even says "Oops"

When they're passing their gas!

Whatever happened to class?

Class

Oh, there ain't no gentlemen who's fit for any use

And any girl'll touch your privates for a deuce

And even kids'll kick your shins and give you sass (and even kids'll kick your shins and give you sass)

Nobody's got no class

All you read about today is rape and theft

Jesus Christ!

Ain't there no decency left?

Nobody's got no class

Everybody you watch

'S got his brains in his crotch

Holy crap (holy crap)

What a shame (what a shame)

What became of class?