Could You Use Me?

Have some pity on an Easterner Show a little sympathy No one possibly could be sterner Than you have been with me There's a JOB that I'm applying for - Let me put it to you thus It's a partnership I'm dying for - Mr. and Mrs. Us Before you file it on the shelf Let me telI you of myself Oh, I'm the chappie To make you happy I'll tie your shoes-ies And CHASE your blues-ies Oh, lady would you - Oh, telI me, could you use me? No night Iife for you The birds would bore you The cows won't know you A HORSE would throw you You silly man, you To ask me, "Can you use me?" Do you realize what a good man You're getting in me? I'm no Elk or Mason or Woodman Who gets home at three Your ties are freakish Your knees are weakish Go back to flappers And high-balI lappers Though you can use me I most certainly can't use you!