Comfort and Joy

You little creep, you're gonna pay I won't be shoved out of the way! Oh no! (oh no) Oh no! (oh no) And I could make a solid case For smashing in your filthy face Kill him! (shut up) Kill him! (shut up) I've got a spade and a burlap sack Kill him now! And there's a hole in the yard out back Kill him now! But if I fill it she'll ask me why Kill him now! So, I've got one thing to do before you die! Now! Now! Wait! She will see what you are I will win back my bride She herself will decide To get rid of the boy! She'll admit she was wrong She'll return before long She'll be singing a song Full of comfort and joy Comfort and joy, comfort and joy! Comfort and joy, comfort and joy! Comfort and joy, comfort and joy! Kill the bat boy, kill the bat boy! Oh, honey, I apologize You've really opened up my eyes No way! (yes way) No way! (yes way) I'm laying out your Sunday best Now brush your teeth and get some rest Alright? (no way) Alright? (alright!) Now, when they see him they'll make a fuss Is that true? We gotta smile like we just don't care That's not fair! They put their pants on the same as us Yes, they do So just imagine them in their underwear! And then this time I swear He will show them he's not What they're terrified of He will show them a love They can never destroy! If we prove that they're wrong They'll come 'round before long And we'll all sing a song Full of comfort and joy! Comfort and joy, yeah! Comfort and joy! Comfort and joy, comfort and joy! Comfort and joy! Stop the bat boy! Settle down, people! We want to make sure the revival goes off without a hitch So let's go over the schedule, listen up From nine to twelve he does the healing Sheriff (you hush up!) At noon he'll bless the fields and plows Tractors too? (hush up!) Then lunch is from one thirty- Sheriff, what about my Gertie! (hush!) And as it seems that time allows Three to ten, the blessing of the cows Yes, the blessing of the cows! Boy, that preacher's a pro Gives a heck of a show Just like Siegfried and Roy He'll bring comfort and joy! So if nothing goes wrong Yes, if nothing goes wrong Lord, if nothing goes wrong We'll have comfort and Comfort and joy, comfort and joy Lord, we need some comfort and joy! Any means you'd care to employ Won't you send us comfort and joy! Dear God I'm still not sure how people pray Or what one does with one's hands But please, my thirst grows every day I feel it burn in my glands Please won't you change the way I am Or prove I'm human underneath Or if you just don't give a damn You could at least get rid of these! If I can't prove them wrong Show me where I belong For a hunger so strong kills all comfort and joy If you'd make me complete I'll avoid all red meat I'll eat nothing but soy to have comfort and joy By next week you'll be gone Six feet under my lawn I'll have nobody toy with my comfort and joy He will come out a champ It's just like summer camp They'll get used to the boy He'll bring comfort and joy God, please give us your word Cure the plague on the herd We don't mean to annoy but send comfort and joy Comfort and joy, comfort and joy, yeah! Stop the bat boy, stop the bat boy! Comfort and joy, comfort and joy! Dr.Parker, what are you doing here? Don't worry, Ruthie The Bat Boy will pay for what he's done to you (comfort and joy, comfort and joy) We're all going to miss you very much (comfort and joy, comfort and joy) Comfort and joy, comfort and joy! Ah, ah, ah, ah Ah, ah, ah, ah Ha, ah, ah, ah Ha, ah, ah, ah Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah Ah!