How to Be Dumb

I was hellbent on destroyin' my powers of concentration

While you were living like a saint

And all the time, the very one you trusted was

Washing off somebody else's paint

Now you've got yourself a brand-new occupation

Every fleetin' thought is a pearl

And beautiful people stampede to the doorway

Of the funniest fucker in the world

They're here to help you satisfy your desires

There's a bright future for all you professional liars

Now you know how to be dumb

Are you ready to take your place in the modern museum of mistakes?

Don't you know how to be dumb

Like a building thrown up overnight in one of those reverse earthquakes?

The empty out all the asylums, they emptied out all the jails

"The New Bruise" was the name of a dance craze

But Jesus crossin' the cruel nails

Followed up by torturin' little beaver with their contraption of barbwire

Between the fear and the fever lies all the rejection they require

They'll be howlin' by midnight, they'll be droolin' by dawn

Skulls shrunk down to the size of their brains

Heads shaven and shorn

Don't you know how to be dumb?

Are you ready to take your place in the modern museum of mistakes?

Don't you know how to be dumb

Like a building thrown up overnight in one of those reverse earthquakes?

Trapped in the house of the perpetual sucker

Where bitterness always ends so pitifully

You always had to dress up your envy

In some half-remembered philosophy

Now you're masquerading as a pale, powdered genius

Whose every bad intention has been purged

You coulda walked out anytime you wanted

But, face it, you didn't have the courage

I guess that makes you a full-time hypocrite

Or some kind of twisted dilettante

Funny, though, people don't usually get so ugly

Till they think they know what they want

Scratch your own head, stupid, count up to three

Rollover on your back, repeat after me

Don't you know how to be dumb?

Are you ready to take your place in the modern museum of mistakes?

Don't you know how to be dumb

Like a building thrown up overnight in one of those reverse earthquakes?

Oh, don't you know how to be dumb?

Don't you know how to be dumb?

Don't you know how to be dumb?

Yes, you know how to be dumb

Don't, don't, don't, don't, don't-don't, don't

Bye bye