Alice (Who the X Is Alice)

Sally called, when she got the word,

She said "I suppose you've heard about Alice."

Well I rushed to the window, and I looked outside,

But I could hardly believe my eyes,

As a big limousine rolled up

into Alice's drive:

I don't why she's leaving, or where she's gonna go,

I guess she's got her reasons but I just don't wanna know,

'Cause for twenty four years I've been living next door to Alice

(Alice, who the fuck is Alice?)

Twenty four years, just waitin' for a chance,

To tell her how I'm feeling, maybe get a second glance,

Now I've gotta get used to not living next door to Alice

(Alice, who the fuck is Alice?)

Grew up together, two kids in the park,

Carved our initials deep in the bark

Me and Alice

Now she walks to the door with her head held high,

Just for a moment, I caught her eye,

As a big limousine pulled slowly out

of Alice's drive:

I don't why she's leaving, or where she's gonna go,

I guess she's got her reasons but I just don't wanna know,

'Cause for twenty four years I've been living next door to Alice

(Alice, who the fuck is Alice?)

Then Sally called back, and asked how I felt,

And she said "I know how to help

to get over Alice."

She said "Now, Alice is gone, but I'm still here.

You know I've been waiting twenty four years"

And the big limousine disappeared:

I don't why she's leaving, or where she's gonna go,

I guess she's got her reasons but I just don't wanna know,

'Cause for twenty four years I've been living next door to Alice

(Alice, who the fuck is Alice?)

I don't why she's leaving, or where she's gonna go,

I guess she's got her reasons but I just don't wanna know,

'Cause for twenty four years I've been living next door to Alice

(Alice, who the fuck is Alice?)

Twenty four years, just waitin' for a chance,

To tell her how I'm feeling, maybe get a second glance,

Now I've gotta get used to not living next door to Alice

(Alice, who the fuck is Alice?)

I don't why she's leaving, or where she's gonna go,

I guess she's got her reasons but I just don't wanna know,

'Cause for twenty four years I've been living next door to Alice

(Alice, who the fuck is Alice?)