In the Middle

Well, here goes

Y'all listen up here now, 'cause this

Here's a tale that, uh, needs to be told

'Cause Americans, we truly believe in this

Howdy, folks, this is the Skatanik Rednecks

I'm the Skatanik Mechanic

I'm Hank Ruhler and this here's the Skatanik Mechanic

Please keep those hands and arms and pecker inside the train

And remain seated at all times

Now then, hang on to them hats and glasses

'Cause this here's the wildest fucking ride in the wilderness

You damn kids get off of that tractor right now!

Get outta that fucking tomato patch, you little shits!

We're from the backwoods of Huntington Beach

And, uh, this is a tale that needs to be told

'Cause this here's the wildest ride in the wilderness

I used to have a favorite blanket when I was a babe

I next picked up a cigarette at twelve years of age

Then alcohol and marijuana

Gave me the security that I wanted

But the novelty wore off, I was alone and afraid

But now I find my favorite fix

Comes from the company of a chick

And I don't care about her height or weight or her bra size

I don't give a shit if she can cook on the griddle

Long as she's got a pussy in the middle

And an asshole to match

I don't mind if she works in a sweatshop in China

Long as she's got a steaming hot vagina

How I worship that snatch

And I don't care what you wanna call it

A muff or a beard, a taco with nothing on it

I'm still in love, I'm so in love

And I don't necessarily care

But they're better when they don't have any hair

What's up with that tumbleweed?

If there's grass on the field, mow it

You know, I always said before you get your

Wagon on the trail, you need to clear the bush

If you need a chainsaw to clear it, don't go near it

You get off of that fucking tractor!

How's that, you guys?

Oh, are we rolling?