DK Rap (Where Are They Now?)

Here we

Here we

Here we go again

So they're finally back

It's been a long time

They're bringing you a brand new rhyme

You loved them all in DK 64

And I bet you're wondering where are they now

Huh, DK

Donkey Kong

He's the leader of the bunch

You know his name, but behind the scenes

He's not the same

After DK64, he got into guns

Now he hunts endangered species just for fun

But his coconut gun still fires in spurts

If he shoots ya

You'll probably die

He's older, meaner, and wealthier too

He's the first member of the DK group

Huh, DK

He loves guns

Tiny Kong's back, so listen up dudes

She can shrink in size to suit her mood

Now you may have heard that the bees are dying

Well, the truth about Tiny is horrifying

She's killing all the bees

She's killing all the bees

We don't know why, but she's killing all the bees

She can float through the air and climb up trees

But Tiny Kong's a murderer

Of bees

Huh, DK

Goodbye bees

He has a funny face

His limbs are long

But Lanky never felt like he belonged

He earned a degree in a college town

And decided to work as a sex ed clown

Now he has a penis puppet and a vulva puppet too

And he'll give a creepy lecture just for you

Huh, DK

Just for you

And next up, Diddy Kong hits the stage

Just like Gary Coleman, he does not age

His face is youthful like Peter Pan's

But he's a bitter old bastard who hates his fans

He's angry

Horny

Libido's wild

But women won't date him, 'cause he looks like a child

That might explain his job, which you won't forget

He blogs for DiddyPepeTrumpMRA.net

Huh, DK

He needs love

And then there's Chunky

He's dead

Huh, DK

Chunky's dead

DK

Now the song is over

Come on, Cranky, take it to the fridge

Cranky?

Aw man, Cranky's dead too

Cranky's in the fridge

Oh, oh no

Wow

That's terrible